Wednesday, August 31, 2011

It's a girl!!! ....and i'm in trouble.

So yes, we've found out that our baby is a little girl. Her name is Moira Carolyn. So 2 things:

1. We've received a lot of flack about the first name. My man and I are undaunted. We've both loved the name since each of us, independently, were little so there's no chance in changing it. What amuses me, yes I'm genuinely amused, is that people somehow think that their opinion will change the decision of the people who are actually having the child. That somehow they are intimately involved in the intimate... My husband and I struggled on boy names but the girl name we both KNEW immediately. Much prayer and time went into the name, but still we knew from the beginning (at least from the time that plus sign showed up on the little stick) that if it was a girl, her name would be Moira. With my man being so vehemently against nicknames or shortening her name somehow, we've been helping some family and friends learn how to say it. In case you wondered, it's pronounced like Moy-Rah. 2 syllables. Easy-peasy. Think Irish while pronouncing it and you're all good. :) My main question is, "Why does it matter what someone else names their child?" It may not be common but it doesn't fall into the list of absurd made up names or re-pronunciations of brand names... I genuinely don't understand. Anyone have insight? Bring it!

2. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not ready for this baby. I have quietly passed my halfway mark. For those of you who don't know what the heck that means, I'll break it down. It takes 40 weeks from the time of conception to the time of birth...roughly. Obviously few babies are right on that 40 week mark, but that's the average. I passed my 20 week mark last Friday. The closer I get, the more not ready I become. Even though I'm sure, at some point, that I will reach a place where I just want this pushy, hungry little girl out - I still won't be ready. Even when I have her in my arms, I'm still sure I won't be ready. I'm not looking for encouragement, or the "You'll be okay". I know all of that, but the thought that somehow God felt that I could not only be trusted to HAVE a child, but then raise it to be a functioning part of society is terrifying. I know He knows me...but for real?! He doesn't make mistakes, yet somehow I still need to question Him. Then there's the whole "Paying for my raising" part that just scares the crap out of me. I already know she's stubborn. Will I have it in me to out-stubborn her or will they have to invent a new word to properly embody that level of stubbornness. I don't even know what to do with a baby. The last baby I took care of was my cousin's who is now in his 20s... I so wish I were kidding. Granted, I'm married to a man who was born to be a daddy and all these things are just naturally there for him - but he won't be there the whole time and I may just have to cry with the baby at times. How often will this baby look at me and think...."did I roll snake eyes on the parent pick or what?!"? I suppose we're stuck with each other... Perhaps I'm thinking too far ahead for the moment. Maybe I should just enjoy being woken up by a dancing baby girl (that tickles like crazy at this stage) who just needs to get her breakfasts (yes, plural) on and just take it as it comes...

Okay... I need chocolate milk STAT! Let's do this thing...

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry about what others say about her name. She's your child, and if you love her name, that's all that matters! And by the way... you'll be fine. It takes practice, but taking care of a child is a wonderful blessing!